Finding Your Feet: From Student to Graduate

It sucks. I don't know how to put it any other way - it just does.

To give you a bit of background history, pre-university I was suffering with mental health issues, I was shy, I hated talking to new people and I could barely talk about my own work without my face going bright red and sweaty (gross am I right).

Before starting my degree I didn't want to go because I was too scared. After first year I sat down with my tutor and said I wanted to quit because I didn't think I was good enough. My shyness was often mistaken for arrogance or iciness; I distinctly remember a course mate saying "I didn't think you were the type to cry" after me talking about how I broke down in tears over a printing disaster - and then I cried. JOKING. But honestly .. sad? Cry. Angry? Cry. Frustrated? Cry.

Anyway. I bloody loved university and it genuinely made me a much stronger person; I fell in love with illustration (I applied not really knowing what it was or why I was doing it, my college tutors said I would like it so I did it) and left thinking I was the fucking shit - which of course, most people do because you've had almost three years of tutors and course mates buffing up your ego (just let it happen and ride that hot ass wave). But all good things come to an end, and me feeling like the shit only lasted about a month until I realised I was destined to work 30+ hour weeks just to survive.

All my time was going into waitressing. All the money I was earning was going into paying rent. When I did get the occasional commission, I either barely slept because time was limited or I had to take days off work which meant less money and more stress. I was tired, I wasn't eating properly and everything was a mess; I was a mess. I wasn't in the right frame of mind to act professional, so how could I ever be professional? I was working in the same chip shop I had worked in since my second year of university - but then I realised, it's okay. Yeah, there are going to be people who graduate and almost instantly become successful editorial illustrators overnight, or designers in publishing houses; but I'm not them and that's not what I want. If you focus on you and what you want to succeed in, then you will get there eventually. It's taken me almost exactly two years to feel like I'm anywhere near where I want to be and that's fine - I feel like I've aged about ten years in a matter of two but I still get ID'd so it's fine.

For me, becoming a graduate was the worst thing ever and set me back a lot, but you pull through because you have to. I don't have any amazing tips or tricks, but what I do know is that if you give yourself the time to send out emails, create newsletters, set up meetings, talk to creative people and draw for yourself people are going to take notice. I'm still that person who sits and cries wondering whether I'm ever going to feel more like an adult and less like a graduate but I'm 100% sure I am not the only one and that's important to remember.

(Also whatever you do, don't look at people who are doing well and copy what they're doing because it wastes your time and your creative growth. I tried that and I felt like I sold myself to the devil - it doesn't work, just do you and eventually someone will fall in love with whatever it is you decide to create.)

Ps. I am super sorry for how long it has taken to get this post, I have started an MA in Visual Communication to start my dream of creating 3D objects with my illustrations applied so bare with me.